If you’re reading this, I hope you’re staying safe and sane during these weird times. Last Friday marked six months of quarantine in LA, and lately sheltering at home has felt sad. My birthday is in a couple of days and aside from it being a quarantine birthday, it is my first solar return since my grandmother died last year. Like many people, I like to spend my birthdays with my immediate family, and I miss her voice singing the lead in our family chorus. Losing friends and family one of those things that come with age, but my feelings of sadness and frustration are currently compounded by nearby wildfires, uprisings, and this pandemic. I live in a hotspot in so many ways; the same night those two Sheriffs were shot in Compton explosives were going off at 3 am outside my apartment minute after minute. It was so scary because the revolution is literally outside my doorstep. Nowhere is really safe, anything can happen anywhere, but at least I have a “place” to shelter in place.
I get really pissed off sometimes, but I try not to get stuck in a negative mindset. Energy matches energy, and I exhaust myself when stewing with anger. So I practice an attitude of gratitude and find ways to transmute my energy to break those emotional spirals. Sure, it’s going to be a quarantine birthday but at least there will be cake and ice cream!
My birthday also occurs during the transition from summer to fall, and this year my personal new year happens to align with a new moon. I am vigilantly focused on finding moments of happiness wherever I can find them. Nothing is going as expected, and despite the losses, things are better for me personally than they were last year and the year before that. And the year before that one. 2016-2019 were the worst years of my life, even worse than 2008-2010. To be where I am now and see a new year is the best birthday gift I could ask for.